Stop Making Excuses!!!

The following article is from the book called “Succisst”

Do you ever catch yourself making excuses when things don’t turn out as you had expected? Have you ever neglected taking responsibility for the events and circumstances of your life? Or have you ever tried to explain away why you didn’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t or simply wouldn’t do something? These are all subtle signs that indicate you are living a life of excuses, which prevent you from living to your full potential. Excuses are rationalizations we make to ourselves about people, events, and circumstances.

They are invented reasons we create to defend our behavior, to neglect to take a particular kind of action, or simply as a means of negating responsibility. Excuses are in essence a means of placing blame OF an internal problem ON an external condition.

Why we make excuses?

Fear of Failure

Fear of Embarrassment

Fear of Success

Fear of Change

Fear of Uncertainty

Fear of Responsibility

Fear of Making Mistakes

Perceived lack of confidence or resources

“The one common denominator in every mess you find yourself in is you.” — Bob Wall

Tips to stop making excuses

• Face the facts: As with most bad habits, the first step to dealing with excuse-making is to acknowledge that you have this problem. Don’t procrastinate and hope it will resolve itself. Your friends and family have stopped accepting your explanations at face value — so should you.
• Get over yourself: Because you have never acknowledged your own responsibility in making excuses, maybe you have felt like people are out to get you. Well, it’s time to leave the conspiracy theories to Oliver Stone. Stop being paranoid. There will always be people who disagree with you, criticize you unjustly or disrespect you. Don’t waste a lot of time and energy creating explanations and excuses to prove them wrong. You’ll just sound suspicious, distrustful and immature.
• Clarify expectations: If you restrict yourself to tasks that you can actually accomplish, you won’t be tempted to later account for your failings. Be upfront when asked to plan the office team-building activity. Ask what time commitment is required before you take it on. Don’t feel forced to accept if you know that you’ll end up laying the blame on others when you fall short. Make taking responsibility a joint enterprise…
• Be honest: Making up excuses is as stressful as lying because you have to remember exactly what you have told various people. Be honest and relieve yourself of the stress. Stop embellishing descriptions to cast yourself in a better light. Your defensive attitude makes your friends, family, and co-workers uncomfortable.
• Stop complaining: Constant hypercriticism of others doesn’t make you look any better. Stop shirking responsibility and looking for the easy way out. If, in fact, the gym is overcrowded, expensive and has lousy parking, find an alternate one. Otherwise, admit you don’t like working out, find another way to get fit and quit whining. Remind yourself each day of the negative implications of constantly finding excuses. Drive yourself to change.
• Speak up, then shut up: Learn to say you’re sorry without launching into a long-winded explanation. The reasons why your report was late don’t matter. If you forgot your wedding anniversary, face the music and apologize without hiding behind fictitious reasons. Challenge yourself to eliminate extraneous excuses — starting right now.

“Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn to exercise his will — his personal responsibility in the realm of faith and morals.”- Albert Schweitzer

• Accept criticism: Take ownership of your shortcomings and mistakes, but don’t let habitual faultfinders undermine your confidence. You may be reinventing your attitude, but not everyone else is — don’t let others force you to revert to your old defensive ways. When you receive criticism, ask for specifics. In your annual performance review, discuss ways to improve for the future rather than trying to rewrite the past.
• Develop a buddy system: Make a pact with a friend or colleague who has the same problem. Agree to point it out if you see him regressing to his old ways, and have him commit to doing the same.
• Write yourself a contract: Jot down all your short- and long-term goals, along with set deadlines for reaching them. Date and sign the agreement, and have a witness (perhaps a good friend) sign it too. Seeing your goals in writing might have more of an impact on you, especially if you have a “buddy” checking up on you regularly.
• Ask for collaboration: Invest your energy into finding solutions instead of creating justifications. If you’re always late for your carpool, ask a fellow commuter for a wake-up call each morning. When your friends complain that you’re always late for parties, laugh and ask them to invite you a half-hour earlier. If you need to, you can even seek help from a professional motivator or attend a seminar.

No Blame / No Shame

Your health and well-being are your own responsibility. You have choices in life, and you’re entitled to choose to find excuses for yourself, to blame other people and to sound paranoid. But you’ll be happier and healthier if you opt for honesty, integrity, and confidence.

How you react to external events is one of the things that will form people’s impressions. It’s never too late to improve your image. Start creating solutions instead of excuses. It takes time and effort to change a habit, but it will be worth it!

If have any question, please email me anytime, akinefes98@gmail.com